About Back Porch Chats
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Our mission is to help shape 12-step communities where sponsors and sponsees help each other move beyond the shame of abuse. We are dedicated to sharing knowledge about the connection between sexual abuse and addiction with people who are willing to stop their compulsive destructive behavior.
Together, We Are a Force
We met in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Vince had over 25 years sobriety and I was a newbie, just beginning my journey to sobriety. From those early days, both of us felt an attraction to each other, but Vince, honoring my need for clarity without any outside distractions, kept his distance and let me do what I had to do to get sober.
Two years later, we went on our first date. We immediately discovered that we both had a similar passion. Because of our own experiences with childhood abuse and addiction, we both were drawn to helping others who had used alcohol to hide from their past.
A few weeks later, Vince shared with me the outline of his book, saying that he had been asking his higher power to bring him a partner that shared in this passion and had the skills to write. Guess what? That was me.
This led to many long conversations of my own goals for a podcast, book, coaching program, and speaking career. Many of which he also shared. Putting our efforts together and becoming a team seemed like our destiny and everything has been falling into place since.
Our journey is far from over. Everyday we take small steps forward to achieving our goals.
In Reality, We Are Very Normal
Every day we see and hear about people dealing with the same problems we went through. And it breaks our hearts to know that the clarity they need to help them feel not so out-of-wack, useless, and hopeless is shrouded in a mist of confusion about childhood trauma and addiction.
Addiction may not be the problem. In fact, substance abuse is often no more than a dark blanket of warmth people hide under in order to protect themselves from the shame and pain of the past.
What Is the Problem We Want to Solve?
The statement, “just get over it,” is not fair to those of us who have suffered from childhood abuse. It’s not something that we can just get over. Rather, our subconscious mind uses our past to protect us from further hurt. It holds those memories in storage and calls upon them when the feelings of threat are triggered by our present experiences. In fact, many who have suffered during their childhood don’t even realize those memories exist. And those that do often don’t make the connection between that past and the present.
Furthermore, that statement, “just get over it,” is driven by modern society’s discomfort when discussing taboo topics that in the past have been considered the “family secret.” After all, we all have family secrets and have been trained to keep them.
These ideas have led us to two purposes:
1. To normalize conversations about childhood abuse in connection with recovery programs so that chronic relapsers can get the help they really need, not to just get sober and stay sober, but also to live happy lives in sobriety.
2. To educate people about the connection between childhood trauma and addiction so that they can deal with their addiction and trauma in a healthy manner.
If you’re trying to manage addiction and feeling:
- Lost and without purpose,
- Fear over facing your past,
- Disconnected from the people around you or alone,
- On the verge of relapsing yet again,
- Struggling to find inner peace,
- Wanting help but not sure where to find it,
- In a rut saying, “now what?”
then you’ve come to the right place.
To see a world in which millions of people bound by the chains of childhood trauma and addiction find freedom from their past, so they can eliminate live in grace, hope, and recovery.
Personal growth begins with an honest exploration of the self in order to gain clarity about the things that need to be transformed.
Transformation requires action and the 3 D’s: Determination, dedication, and diligence.
The 3 D’s are rewarded with self-compassion, wisdom, and new vitality for life.