About Us

Back Porch Chats

Vince

Your content goes here. Edit or remove this text inline or in the module Content settings. You can also style every aspect of this content in the module Design settings and even apply custom CSS to this text in the module Advanced settings.

Jeanna Fox Midlife Crisis Coach

Jeanna

In 2007, my life started spiraling completely out of control. ⁠
I felt empty, alone, a complete failure, and I couldn’t figure out why. I had two wonderful children, an amazing foster daughter, and a husband who was and is a good man. I had a beautiful home and raised goats and chickens. I had just completed my degree and was fulfilling my dream to be a college professor. On the outside, I had everything, but inside, I felt void.⁠
I tried to fill it with alcohol and sex. I cut just so I could feel something. I wanted to laugh uncontrollably, but I would have been satisfied with a little giggle from time to time.⁠
I felt nothing. ⁠
In the years following, my distructive behaviors lead to a divorce, poor relationships with my children, and an end to my career. I lost my home and my security. I made bad dating choices that included a relationship with a physically abusive man and on another occasion, rape. And my drinking became more and more frequent.
Then, when my life felt like it couldn’t get any worse, I received the final blow. In early 2018, my son committed suicide. It wasn’t enough to get me sober. In fact, I drank every day for the next seven months. I topped that with sleeping pills, so I didn’t have to lay in bed at night recreating his last hours in my mind.⁠
A drunken fall put me in the hospital for three days. I thought “this was it. I was finally going to get the help I desperately needed.”⁠
It was difficult to be honest with the doctors. The truth is, while I admitted I had a problem, I still don’t think I was completely honest about the severity of it. ⁠
Every ounce of my soul wanted help getting out of the agony I was in.⁠
But I still couldn’t say the words, “I’m an alcoholic and out of control.” Instead, I admitted to drinking a little more than I would have admitted before. ⁠Thankfully, the doctors saw what I couldn’t admit, and I did get some help, but it wasn’t until several months later that I was able to put down the bottle and deal with what was really bothering me.
Guess what. It wasn’t alcohol. And it wasn’t eating or cutting. It wasn’t sex. It wasn’t men or my mother. It wasn’t even that I had failed. These things and my incessant need to get my degree, the hours spent reading and completing assignments only allowed me to veil my real problem.
I felt deep shame because I was sexually abused as a child. I felt hurt by my mother who also felt shame because she wasn’t able to protect me.
I felt abandoned by my father who wasn’t there to protect me. If my dad, my flesh and blood, couldn’t love me, who could. Certainly not me because I knew all my secrets. I was convinced that I was so unlovable that I didn’t even deserve to love myself. I wanted someone else to do it for me.
On September 2, 2018, I finally put the bottle down and began working rigorously on my problem.
I discovered the most amazing thing.
My problem was me, and it would be difficult, in fact damn hard, but I could fix me.
My journey in sobriety became a journey into my soul. I have discovered many great tools including, self-compassion, gratitude, and spirituality of the soul.
Today I laugh uncontrollably, I love with every cell in my body, and I feel full.
I know what it feels like to be so full that I want to burst.
And honestly, I need to give some of it away.
If you relate to the things I have said here, let’s talk. My partner and I are working on a few projects that we know will help. All we need is for you to reach out for it.

Our Mission

Mission

Our mission is to help shape 12-step communities where sponsors and sponsees help each other move beyond the shame of abuse. We are dedicated to sharing knowledge about the connection between sexual abuse and addiction with people who are willing to stop their compulsive destructive behavior. 

Together, We Are a Force 

 

We met in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Vince had over 25 years sobriety and I was a newbie, just beginning my journey to sobriety. From those early days, both of us felt an attraction to each other, but Vince, honoring my need for clarity without any outside distractions, kept his distance and let me do what I had to do to get sober.

Two years later, we went on our first date. We immediately discovered that we both had a similar passion. Because of our own experiences with childhood abuse and addiction, we both were drawn to helping others who had used alcohol to hide from their past.

 A few weeks later, Vince shared with me the outline of his book, saying that he had been asking his higher power to bring him a partner that shared in this passion and had the skills to write. Guess what? That was me.

This led to many long conversations of my own goals for a podcast, book, coaching program, and speaking career. Many of which he also shared. Putting our efforts together and becoming a team seemed like our destiny and everything has been falling into place since.

Our journey is far from over. Everyday we take small steps forward to achieving our goals. 

In Reality, We Are Very Normal

Every day we see and hear about people dealing with the same problems we went through. And it breaks our hearts to know that the clarity they need to help them feel not so out-of-wack, useless, and hopeless is shrouded in a mist of confusion about childhood trauma and addiction.

Addiction may not be the problem. In fact, substance abuse is often no more than a dark blanket of warmth people hide under in order to protect themselves from the shame and pain of the past.

What Is the Problem We Want to Solve?

The statement, “just get over it,” is not fair to those of us who have suffered from childhood abuse. It’s not something that we can just get over. Rather, our subconscious mind uses our past to protect us from further hurt. It holds those memories in storage and calls upon them when the feelings of threat are triggered by our present experiences. In fact, many who have suffered during their childhood don’t even realize those memories exist. And those that do often don’t make the connection between that past and the present.

Furthermore, that statement, “just get over it,” is driven by modern society’s discomfort when discussing taboo topics that in the past have been considered the “family secret.” After all, we all have family secrets and have been trained to keep them.

These ideas have led us to two purposes:

1. To normalize conversations about childhood abuse in connection with recovery programs so that chronic relapsers can get the help they really need, not to just get sober and stay sober, but also to live happy lives in sobriety.

2. To educate people about the connection between childhood trauma and addiction so that they can deal with their addiction and trauma in a healthy manner.

  

There’s Hope

If you’re trying to manage addiction and feeling:

 

  • Lost and without purpose,
  • Shame
  • Fear over facing your past,
  • Disconnected from the people around you or alone,
  • On the verge of relapsing yet again,
  • Struggling to find inner peace,
  • Wanting help but not sure where to find it,
  • In a rut saying, “now what?”

then you’ve come to the right place.

Our Vision

To see a world in which millions of people bound by the chains of childhood trauma and addiction find freedom from their past, so they can eliminate live in grace, hope, and recovery.

Our Values

Personal growth begins with an honest exploration of the self in order to gain clarity about the things that need to be transformed.

Transformation requires action and the 3 D’s: Determination, dedication, and diligence.

The 3 D’s are rewarded with self-compassion, wisdom, and new vitality for life.

Have a Question? Want More Info?

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This